My blog is back it’s gonna save my reputation

by debraatuow

I’m starting this blog again, because I went two or three months as almost 100% Paleo last year, and ever since Christmas I have been eating terribly. I still cook Paleo meals but my snacks have been awful. I have gained weight, I’m tired all the time, I feel fucking terrible and I want to change that.

I’m not doing this to get readers or followers or whatever. I am doing this to make myself accountable, and so I can look back at what I’ve eaten each day, where I’ve gone wrong and try and improve myself and make myself the best and healthiest person I can be. And maybe give some people some recipe ideas along the way. And a reminder to people that we all fuck up – I know I do. All we can do is pick ourselves up, learn and carry on.

I recently found out I have a strong family history of diabetes and that a close family member is basically pre-diabetic. I don’t want that for me, or my family, or anyone, so here I am trying to change myself for the better. 

I’ve been successful with Paleo before, and I am struggling so much with it now. Literally every day I say to myself “I’m starting full Paleo today”.

I may not be starting “full Paleo”, but I am starting my journey to a healthier, happier me. I am going overseas in 3 months and I hope to be as fit and healthy as I can be before I leave! I’m sure I’ll go off the rails a bit when I arrive in Canada…

Today I had a whole gluten-free pizza for dinner despite the fact that I wasn’t hungry. I literally gorged myself to the point where I desperately wanted/needed to vomit. I hate vomiting, but I actually considered sticking my fingers down my throat to relieve myself of the horrible disgusting feeling I caused for myself.

I’ve done it before. I have been healthy, and full of energy, and happy, and satisfied and had glowing skin and healthy hair and teeth and I will do it again.